Someone asked for our top tips for reducing stress - here is the condensed version:
Breathe: 10 to 30 minutes a day of breathing exercises will kick in your parasympathetic nervous system and send positive signals and hormones and chemicals through your body to relax you
Relax your body: Take time out to just relax. Whether it structured relaxation techniques which have similar value as breathing, or stop and do nothing, your body needs a rest..
Eat Properly: Under stress people tend to eat too much, and junk,..or skip eating…either way is no good. Eat your meals and healthy snacks to keep your mind and body functioning clearly
Ask for what you want: Stress is often created from not getting your needs met – speak up and ask for what you need – with your colleagues, manager and loved ones. Setting limits professionally and making difficult requests will help you Reduces Stress by
• Helping you feel powerful
• Get what you want / need
• Build mutual beneficial relationships
Think Clearly – Our mind has a way of creating stress – you will feel and experience the stress of a deadline whether there is actually limited time to get a task done or whether you just THINK there is limited time. Reflect on your thinking patterns – challenge and replace the ones you see are not based on facts, or on facts that are no longer true about you, others and the world.
Humor & Happiness – Make the time to laugh everyday and do things you enjoy. Joy is the perfect antidote to stress. Even if it is just 5 minutes a day just for you – watch a funny show, play a game, pray, take a walk with a friend – it will do wonders. If you are completely stressed out, take time to make sure your life is built on what makes you happy.
Exercise – The ultimate stress killer: endorphins. Exercise to prevent and reduce stress.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Friday, November 13, 2009
Goals, Will, Fear and Overthrowing Hitler
I just watched the movie Valkyrie with Tom Cruise about Claus von Stauffenberg’s plot to kill Hitler. It provided a stunning look at the factors of will and fear in leading change.
Stauffenberg led a coup d'état. He is extremely motivated to change the government so that he can restore Germany to its proud past before Hitler began rounding up and killing millions of people.
Yet he fails. Why? He had the traits of a change leader: passion for the change initiative and a vision that people would buy into – to get rid of Hitler. He also had other senior ranking and influential people on his side and a reasonable strategy. Plus he had “good” on his side. It boils down to lack of will and fear.
Just because you have a “good” goal does not mean you have the “Will” of leaders
One reason he seemed to fail was misreading the will of the key leadership. It was a good goal – to topple Hitler. But that was not enough. Enough people were not committed to – they were not willing to risk their lives for it.
The same is true for any “good” goal – like losing weight or quitting smoking . People fail all the time at achieving these “good” goals. Is it because they don’t have the tools to achieve these goals? No - diets, pills, exercise plans and self help books abound. Is it because the tools are too hard to use? No - how much easier can putting a patch on your arm and chewing gum be to quit smoking? It is as simple as their will to change is weak - their desire to change is not bigger than the obstacles in the way. Whether the obstacles are poor self image, self hatred, or other psychological factor, their will to change is less. The same is true in this movie.
The will of leadership was not stronger than the opposition. There was some will to topple hilter, but not enough. Hitler supporters were willing to kill to keep Hitler in power. The change agents were not all willing to die to win.
The “Will” must overcome the level of fear
Even if you have the will to change, that is not enough. One has to overcome the fear of looking stupid, being ostracized, or in this case being killed if you fail.
The top leaders had a few hours to decide if they were willing to follow the coup. There were a few hours where it was unclear if Hitler was dead, during which a thousands of troops led by Stauffenberg’ began taking control of Berlin. As this began, many leaders supported the coup. But when they heard Hitler may be alive, many leaders were so scared, they stopped their support for fear of death by Hitler. If they had charged onward, they could have succeeded in their change. The had momentum and thousands of troops on their side. Yet, their fear of Hitler and dying was so great, they gave up. Despite knoing how morally reprehensible Hitler was, they did not have the will to win.
Stauffenberg led a coup d'état. He is extremely motivated to change the government so that he can restore Germany to its proud past before Hitler began rounding up and killing millions of people.
Yet he fails. Why? He had the traits of a change leader: passion for the change initiative and a vision that people would buy into – to get rid of Hitler. He also had other senior ranking and influential people on his side and a reasonable strategy. Plus he had “good” on his side. It boils down to lack of will and fear.
Just because you have a “good” goal does not mean you have the “Will” of leaders
One reason he seemed to fail was misreading the will of the key leadership. It was a good goal – to topple Hitler. But that was not enough. Enough people were not committed to – they were not willing to risk their lives for it.
The same is true for any “good” goal – like losing weight or quitting smoking . People fail all the time at achieving these “good” goals. Is it because they don’t have the tools to achieve these goals? No - diets, pills, exercise plans and self help books abound. Is it because the tools are too hard to use? No - how much easier can putting a patch on your arm and chewing gum be to quit smoking? It is as simple as their will to change is weak - their desire to change is not bigger than the obstacles in the way. Whether the obstacles are poor self image, self hatred, or other psychological factor, their will to change is less. The same is true in this movie.
The will of leadership was not stronger than the opposition. There was some will to topple hilter, but not enough. Hitler supporters were willing to kill to keep Hitler in power. The change agents were not all willing to die to win.
The “Will” must overcome the level of fear
Even if you have the will to change, that is not enough. One has to overcome the fear of looking stupid, being ostracized, or in this case being killed if you fail.
The top leaders had a few hours to decide if they were willing to follow the coup. There were a few hours where it was unclear if Hitler was dead, during which a thousands of troops led by Stauffenberg’ began taking control of Berlin. As this began, many leaders supported the coup. But when they heard Hitler may be alive, many leaders were so scared, they stopped their support for fear of death by Hitler. If they had charged onward, they could have succeeded in their change. The had momentum and thousands of troops on their side. Yet, their fear of Hitler and dying was so great, they gave up. Despite knoing how morally reprehensible Hitler was, they did not have the will to win.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Changing the Stove
We had to get a new stove. It was clear it wouldn't be working soon. But we waited. And waited. The burners on the stove slowly weakened. The oven completely broke.
Why rush into buying a new stove. There are so many to choose from. We will take our time, we said. We decided it was summer, so we could just cook on the grill.
As July turned into August, and school was about to begin, we couldn't put it off any longer. We started looking. We had our ideal versions in mind. We shopped. Days passed. School started. We could wait no longer, we had to buy. We made a choice that met our needs and budget.
When it arrived, it looked strange. We missed our old range - the lines, the look. Where is the overn light button? How do you set the oven temperatture? And we kept burning the food. This stove was so hot. Sure, we could boil water 5 times faster, but we were splattering sauces and burning sautes. It took a few weeks, but we started to get the hang of it. Sure, we had to keep looking for which dial heats which burner. However, we stopped burning our food. And then one day we said "How did we live with that old stove!"
This clearly follows the stages of change people go through
1. Avoidance
2. There's no choice but to change
3. The hard work of change
4. Learning the new way
5. Satisfaction with the change
Why rush into buying a new stove. There are so many to choose from. We will take our time, we said. We decided it was summer, so we could just cook on the grill.
As July turned into August, and school was about to begin, we couldn't put it off any longer. We started looking. We had our ideal versions in mind. We shopped. Days passed. School started. We could wait no longer, we had to buy. We made a choice that met our needs and budget.
When it arrived, it looked strange. We missed our old range - the lines, the look. Where is the overn light button? How do you set the oven temperatture? And we kept burning the food. This stove was so hot. Sure, we could boil water 5 times faster, but we were splattering sauces and burning sautes. It took a few weeks, but we started to get the hang of it. Sure, we had to keep looking for which dial heats which burner. However, we stopped burning our food. And then one day we said "How did we live with that old stove!"
This clearly follows the stages of change people go through
1. Avoidance
2. There's no choice but to change
3. The hard work of change
4. Learning the new way
5. Satisfaction with the change
Thursday, August 13, 2009
GPS's, Learning and Leadership Dependency
I think GPS's make people less open to learning.
Finding your way used to be the way it was in life. We would look at maps, call people for directions, stay alert for landmarks. We would have to talk to more people, have more relationships and be open to learning the route. It would keep us in the state of not knowing. This is good for us. Life is all about learning. Learning and growing and developing.
Now with GPS's, you can drive, talk on your cell and follow directions all at the same time! Some would say this is progress. It could be argued it is more efficient, however I think it makes people less aware of their world. It makes you feel like you know it all. I can drive from any airport to any client with a GPS and feel confident I know where I am going.
I think this builds a false sense of security into people. At work, we often don't know what to do. But there is no GPS at work..or is there? The leader is a GPS. So people don't learn to think on their feet, but rather become more dependent on stuff outside of themselves, such as their leaders.
When they first came out, I refused to buy one - because I was too cheap - but now it is out of principle. I like asking for diretions. I like getting lost - it keeps me connected to the environment around me, it allows me to discover the world I am traveling in and teaches me to be self-sufficient.
Finding your way used to be the way it was in life. We would look at maps, call people for directions, stay alert for landmarks. We would have to talk to more people, have more relationships and be open to learning the route. It would keep us in the state of not knowing. This is good for us. Life is all about learning. Learning and growing and developing.
Now with GPS's, you can drive, talk on your cell and follow directions all at the same time! Some would say this is progress. It could be argued it is more efficient, however I think it makes people less aware of their world. It makes you feel like you know it all. I can drive from any airport to any client with a GPS and feel confident I know where I am going.
I think this builds a false sense of security into people. At work, we often don't know what to do. But there is no GPS at work..or is there? The leader is a GPS. So people don't learn to think on their feet, but rather become more dependent on stuff outside of themselves, such as their leaders.
When they first came out, I refused to buy one - because I was too cheap - but now it is out of principle. I like asking for diretions. I like getting lost - it keeps me connected to the environment around me, it allows me to discover the world I am traveling in and teaches me to be self-sufficient.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Stay Motivated with Guilt And Shame
For thousands of years, people have been motivated by shame and guilt. It still works! Whether it is procrastinating selling your change to key stakeholders or avoiding conversations with a difficult employee or avoiding confronting difficult people, I always succeed when I committ my goal to someone I trust. Once I tell a close colleague or friend what my goal is, the shame of not doing it is more powerful than the fear of failing. Try it. And let shame and guilt work in your favor!
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
How to Deal with Naysayers
Naysayers are negative energy. They can bring you down, frustrate you and sidetrack you. One can bring a whole meeting or whole team down. A really loud vocal naysayer can bring down a entire change effort.
Naysayers can be in your head (self talk) or voiced through other people. Either way, they need to be managed and overcome. Succeeding in this is all about attitude: you need a YES attitude
Y=A big WHY...a big reason to achieve your goal. You need a reason to succeed that is bigger and stronger than the naysayers negativity. The power of your positivity needs to go past neutralizing their negativity. It needs to overpower the negativity. It is like electric charges. If you have a strong negative charge, it will cling to a positive charge. As long as the positive is = to or greater , the net energy will be positive. The same is true here. Your positive charge - your vision/passion/rationale for change - needs to be bigger than any naysayer or sum of naysayers. This will enable you and the team to stay positive. The WHY needs to keep you motivated despite all the naysayers around. The WHY also helps everyone else around to stay positive, as long as it is a stronger, more compelling energy than the naysayers negativity.
For example, when I had a serious tumor, my big Y was my daughter. I did not want her to grow up like me, without a father. Everyime I had internal or external naysayers, my big WHY kept me positive and motivated. People told me left and right I was crazy and should just get surgery. The meant well, but they were dragging me down. And sometimes I thought I was crazy. I had to keep my energy positive to get through all the challenges I was facing. My big Y helped me stay focused on my goal and not the negativity of those around me.
E= Expect Emotional Reactions – if you expect everyone to support you, this will cause you stress. You need to expect people will throw up roadblocks. That is human nature. If you expect people to fall into line, you will never win their hearts. They may do what you say while you standing over them, but once you are going, they will revert to the old way. Even in the military, research shows that autocratic leaders are less effective than more participatory leaders.
Expecting emotional reactions means allowing people to push back, to challenge and be frustrated. It allows dialogue. And hearts and minds can be influenced when they are listened to and dialogued with. Expecting this, will make others resistance easier to deal with.
S= Surround yourself with other fun loving YES people. Change and naysayers are draining – they will bring you down and eventually make you negative. So you need to find like minded people to support you through the challenges of change. The other people are your coaches, advisors, mentors and cheerleaders. All successful people have them. Do you? If not, go find them or you will not succeed in leading change
Naysayers can be in your head (self talk) or voiced through other people. Either way, they need to be managed and overcome. Succeeding in this is all about attitude: you need a YES attitude
Y=A big WHY...a big reason to achieve your goal. You need a reason to succeed that is bigger and stronger than the naysayers negativity. The power of your positivity needs to go past neutralizing their negativity. It needs to overpower the negativity. It is like electric charges. If you have a strong negative charge, it will cling to a positive charge. As long as the positive is = to or greater , the net energy will be positive. The same is true here. Your positive charge - your vision/passion/rationale for change - needs to be bigger than any naysayer or sum of naysayers. This will enable you and the team to stay positive. The WHY needs to keep you motivated despite all the naysayers around. The WHY also helps everyone else around to stay positive, as long as it is a stronger, more compelling energy than the naysayers negativity.
For example, when I had a serious tumor, my big Y was my daughter. I did not want her to grow up like me, without a father. Everyime I had internal or external naysayers, my big WHY kept me positive and motivated. People told me left and right I was crazy and should just get surgery. The meant well, but they were dragging me down. And sometimes I thought I was crazy. I had to keep my energy positive to get through all the challenges I was facing. My big Y helped me stay focused on my goal and not the negativity of those around me.
E= Expect Emotional Reactions – if you expect everyone to support you, this will cause you stress. You need to expect people will throw up roadblocks. That is human nature. If you expect people to fall into line, you will never win their hearts. They may do what you say while you standing over them, but once you are going, they will revert to the old way. Even in the military, research shows that autocratic leaders are less effective than more participatory leaders.
Expecting emotional reactions means allowing people to push back, to challenge and be frustrated. It allows dialogue. And hearts and minds can be influenced when they are listened to and dialogued with. Expecting this, will make others resistance easier to deal with.
S= Surround yourself with other fun loving YES people. Change and naysayers are draining – they will bring you down and eventually make you negative. So you need to find like minded people to support you through the challenges of change. The other people are your coaches, advisors, mentors and cheerleaders. All successful people have them. Do you? If not, go find them or you will not succeed in leading change
Friday, June 26, 2009
5 Steps Selling Change
The other day, when working with some internal HR people, I was reminded how HR people are not the best sales people. Especially when it comes to selling change. Here are 5 tips for selling change internally:
1. Figure out how the change will help the business - If you want business leaders to buy into a new HR approach, you need to link it to the business impact. This means understanding how the change will help the company's key stakeholders: customers, employees, the community and stockholders. For example, a reorganization is going on and you think some departments need to collaborate differently for the reorg to succeed. You know that the reorg is aimed toward putting the experts closer to the customers. This will lead to more repeat business. To sell your collaboration program, you need to link it to those business results.
2. Create your Change Speech - We always recommend leaders of change use a one minute change speech. If you can't explain it in less than 60 seconds, people won't understand it, and probably won't "buy it". Make the case short and sweet, including what the change is, and why it is important. Focus on the WHY(the benefits), not the what (the class). In this example, a why could be: the course will help the customer teams respond faster, with better solutions. And remember the key to a good speech is.....practice, practice, practice.
3. Listen for Objections - After you give your speech, listen for reactions. You need to find out if they "buy it". And if not, why. What do people say? What don't they say? What is their body language and tone of voice telling you? Ask them for their thoughts. Ask them how closely this meets their needs.
4. Respond to Objections - Be prepared for the objections you expect. Have mini responses planned. For those you don't expect, get ready to think on your feet. If their objection is one you have no response to say something like, "That is a great point. Let me think about that and get back to you." If need be, go back to drawing board and change your offering (the team program) or your change speech.
5. Don't give up - It can take months to sell a new idea internally. Sometimes years. Whatever it takes, if what you have to offer will help the organization, be persistent, be flexible and don't give up. The customer is usually right. They know what they want and need. If you think they need a 2 day program and they only have time for a 2 hour program. Be creative and come up with a 2 hour program. If they like it, they will use it and even ask for more.
1. Figure out how the change will help the business - If you want business leaders to buy into a new HR approach, you need to link it to the business impact. This means understanding how the change will help the company's key stakeholders: customers, employees, the community and stockholders. For example, a reorganization is going on and you think some departments need to collaborate differently for the reorg to succeed. You know that the reorg is aimed toward putting the experts closer to the customers. This will lead to more repeat business. To sell your collaboration program, you need to link it to those business results.
2. Create your Change Speech - We always recommend leaders of change use a one minute change speech. If you can't explain it in less than 60 seconds, people won't understand it, and probably won't "buy it". Make the case short and sweet, including what the change is, and why it is important. Focus on the WHY(the benefits), not the what (the class). In this example, a why could be: the course will help the customer teams respond faster, with better solutions. And remember the key to a good speech is.....practice, practice, practice.
3. Listen for Objections - After you give your speech, listen for reactions. You need to find out if they "buy it". And if not, why. What do people say? What don't they say? What is their body language and tone of voice telling you? Ask them for their thoughts. Ask them how closely this meets their needs.
4. Respond to Objections - Be prepared for the objections you expect. Have mini responses planned. For those you don't expect, get ready to think on your feet. If their objection is one you have no response to say something like, "That is a great point. Let me think about that and get back to you." If need be, go back to drawing board and change your offering (the team program) or your change speech.
5. Don't give up - It can take months to sell a new idea internally. Sometimes years. Whatever it takes, if what you have to offer will help the organization, be persistent, be flexible and don't give up. The customer is usually right. They know what they want and need. If you think they need a 2 day program and they only have time for a 2 hour program. Be creative and come up with a 2 hour program. If they like it, they will use it and even ask for more.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Lessons on Change from Chrysler Bankruptcy
As news emerges on what was going on internally at Chrysler right before bankruptcy, it gets me thinking od some true-isms of change :
1. Change is messy - Things never go as planned. Even when there is a plan for change. For some reason we all expect change to be linear: change a and turn into b. I have never seen a large scale change work that way. There is usually a big mess in between a and b. If that wasn't the case, we would have no customers!
2. Leaders often fold under the pressure - In Chrysler's case they seemed to be pressuring dealers to buy more inventory (even if they couldn't sell it) right up before bankruptcy. In other cases, they withhold the truth, bend the truth, put off hard choices. Not everyone can hold up the pressure of change.
3. Leaders often are peceived as liars - see trueism's 1 & 2. They lead into the perception (whether true of not) that leaders are not telling the truth. They may be telling the truth as best as they know it, however the "truth" and facts are often changing.
1. Change is messy - Things never go as planned. Even when there is a plan for change. For some reason we all expect change to be linear: change a and turn into b. I have never seen a large scale change work that way. There is usually a big mess in between a and b. If that wasn't the case, we would have no customers!
2. Leaders often fold under the pressure - In Chrysler's case they seemed to be pressuring dealers to buy more inventory (even if they couldn't sell it) right up before bankruptcy. In other cases, they withhold the truth, bend the truth, put off hard choices. Not everyone can hold up the pressure of change.
3. Leaders often are peceived as liars - see trueism's 1 & 2. They lead into the perception (whether true of not) that leaders are not telling the truth. They may be telling the truth as best as they know it, however the "truth" and facts are often changing.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Too old to change?
The Biggest Loser competition tonight was won by a 64 year old man who lost 177 lbs or close to 50% of his body weight! How did he do it? He said he got out of his head and just let his body do the work.
Who says you can't teach old dogs new tricks!
Who says you can't teach old dogs new tricks!
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
I will Employees and I will not Employees
I think there are some employees who will tend to say yes when their leaders asks things of them. These are people who are generally agreeable and will look for a way to get the new task/challenge done. While there are other people who will give some version of I will not: they will look for excuses why they can't; they will say yes but do nothing; or they will say yes and complain the whole way through.
I think this is by personality, not based on the situation. What do you think?
I think this is by personality, not based on the situation. What do you think?
Monday, May 4, 2009
Examples of Memories that Limit Organizational Performance
I was watching a show last night on elephants in the Kalahari Desert in Africa that made me think of how memories can limit organizational performance.
Elephants were being tracked across the Kalhari desert through GPS necklaces. At one point, the elephants were stuck. They were running back and forth across one line of the desert in panic and stress, to the point of exhaustion. Why? It turned out that this herd of elephants had a long history (generations) of walking a certain route across the desert. That route was now blocked as people had developed the area. They were stuck because their organizational memory told them "Go this way" - so they just kept trying to run that way,l but when they got to the border of the homes, they turned around and ran back from where they came from. Then, later, they would run back towards the border. Again, they would stop and run back from where they came from. On and on all day this went until they were exhausted.
This made me think about how strong memories can be. How we all create patterns of behavior based on old memories. Maybe it is the memory of your relationship with your father or mother which unconsciously drives your relationship with your manager. Or maybe it is your memory of what you learned in graduate school about a certain way to do things that drives how you always handle certain business situations. Or maybe a whole department completes their process a certain way. It has worked this way for years. Now they have to change. Maybe they are not just not simply 'resistant to change.' Maybe the strength of the memory is just so strong that it drives them to do this process over and over, because it is all that they know...
What examples do you have of memories that limit organizational performance? Personal, Team or Organizational....
Elephants were being tracked across the Kalhari desert through GPS necklaces. At one point, the elephants were stuck. They were running back and forth across one line of the desert in panic and stress, to the point of exhaustion. Why? It turned out that this herd of elephants had a long history (generations) of walking a certain route across the desert. That route was now blocked as people had developed the area. They were stuck because their organizational memory told them "Go this way" - so they just kept trying to run that way,l but when they got to the border of the homes, they turned around and ran back from where they came from. Then, later, they would run back towards the border. Again, they would stop and run back from where they came from. On and on all day this went until they were exhausted.
This made me think about how strong memories can be. How we all create patterns of behavior based on old memories. Maybe it is the memory of your relationship with your father or mother which unconsciously drives your relationship with your manager. Or maybe it is your memory of what you learned in graduate school about a certain way to do things that drives how you always handle certain business situations. Or maybe a whole department completes their process a certain way. It has worked this way for years. Now they have to change. Maybe they are not just not simply 'resistant to change.' Maybe the strength of the memory is just so strong that it drives them to do this process over and over, because it is all that they know...
What examples do you have of memories that limit organizational performance? Personal, Team or Organizational....
Friday, May 1, 2009
Total Transformation vs. Incremental Change
I heard Dr. Dean Ornish talking about the success of totally transforming your diet vs. making small steps. His research shows that people who completely and radically change their diet to a healthy diet to prevent heart disease or reverse it are much more likely to sustain the changes than people who make incremental changes after heart surgery. I also read about a Bain & Co study showing that companies that totally transformed by throwing out their senior execs and brining in new people had compelely turned around in 2 years or less with and average of 250% increase in stock price.
The implications for organizational change seem to be that better to make large bold moves than smaller ones. They will shake things up and create lasting change rather than the incremental changes of a new training program here or a new product there.
The implications for organizational change seem to be that better to make large bold moves than smaller ones. They will shake things up and create lasting change rather than the incremental changes of a new training program here or a new product there.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Energy and Relaxation
It seems that the best way to re-energize is to take time off from work! How can we advise leaders this? How can we tell Leaders, take more time off? give your people more time off? All I know is that I come to work on a Monday or after I am on vacation I am ready to go, calm, productive, organized. Is there a way to take off every 3rd day instead of every weekend?
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